Give me that CBD

My heart is racing, and I’m sat here just asking. Why can’t I get into this bottle? Not for the high, I’m seeking out the warm state of calm, trying to smooth out and settle this fire bomb. It’s sat just here in my chest, taking refuge in my heart, and usually I can chanel this into some sort of fine art. I don’t want to be taking part in the lies my head tell me. The moon is quietly printed in the sky, with the sun basking behind the roofs, and it’s funny because in a few months POOF! Gone again, humans preparing to embrace yet another long, dark, unfriendly winter. For me it was incredibly hard. But at some point on my path I said, ‘That’s enough, I’m ready’, while waving two one way tickets across the world with my love. I will be dodging a thick winter, just a long transfer, checking out and tasting that sweeter, rural, dustier life once more. I’m finally into the bottle, with 3 drops under my tongue, my heart slows down. I wish I wouldn't get so hung up on the avoidance of growing old, and fixed on staying young, when my constant questioning adds years onto my age, I should just accept that not everything is on the same page. But I am just scared, I’m scared of life, living, people, and the world itself, that some days I could just stay curled up in my own dream world. It’s scary being brave and seeing past my fingertips, seeing past his, to live with wide open eyes, but now I’ve worked hard on stripping back my disguise, thrown away all those lies, had enough to traumatise, stared straight into the snakes eye, so repeat after me. I AM ready. This is my time to fly again.